‘Scream Queens’ Episode 2 Recap: ‘Chainsaw’
Scream Queens episode 2 brought more laughs, 100% less Nick Jonas (sadly), and excellent use of a Backstreet Boys song. Let's get into this thing!
SPOILER WARNING: Scream Queens plot details ahead.
Zayday and Grace are in the creepiest convenience store ever, and Zayday's listing all of the reasons Pete might be the Red Devil Killer. "The guy's got a red devil costume? In his closet? Oh, girl." Fair, very fair. Grace's crush on Pete makes her less convinced, but she agrees to use the tazer Zay's grandma sent...and minutes later they do, on the red devil running toward them, as Zayday knocks a display stand on him, too. Unfortunately it was just an overeager mascot nerd. Oops.
Meanwhile, Chanel and Chanel No. 5 are fighting over Chanel No. 2's missing body. No. 5 is about done pretending to be nice to Chanel, and she's chock full of metaphors to describe the threesome she got into last night. What does "I got Eiffel Towered" even mean? Anyway, she says this whole dead bodies thing isn't her problem, and she says so in a way that's much meaner than the bunny ears she's wearing might suggest. Red (devil) flag?
Grace, Zayday and Niecy Nash's security guard, Denise, discover the bloodstain in Chanel No. 2's room. Denise is all, wake up sheeple, this girl is missing, no one's looking for her and OH YEAH, and she tweeted "I'm being murdered by the Red Devil." Grace and Zayday are like "I dunno, she's still posting to Instagram," and furnish a photo of a sprawled-out Chanel No. 2 with shades on. These girls have clearly never seen Weekend At Bernie's.
The campus is holding a "Take Back the Night" vigil, except for instead of raising sexual assault awareness it's...raising awareness about murder. Chad's broken up about Boone's death, saying it'll be WEEKS before he gets over this. Chanel shows up to comfort him, and to ask if maybe he can have sex with a few less other people? He's basically like 'that's a hard pass, and also you're dumped again." He tells her to pray that her undesirable new pledges get murdered, since that would be a real problem solver.
Sam the lesbian is talking to Chanel No. 3 (I call her Earmuffs). Sam asks Chanel No. 3 what her "869" tattoo means, but Earmuffs says "Look, you seem pretty cool and have a whole Samantha Ronson thing going on that's pretty dope, but don't ask me a lot of questions." Hmm.
Dean Munsch takes the podium and tells everyone Boone's death was ruled a suicide, so don't even worry about those serial killer rumors! She also announces they're (wisely) retiring the red devil mascot, given the confusion leading to crotch-tasing in convenience stores and whatnot — so meet your new mascot, Coney! Like the red devil, he is very shiny and creepy, and when he's met to no applause from the confused students, the Dean tells him, "You're a disgrace."
Zayday, Grace and Denise visit Chanel No. 2's parents in Bel Air — and her mom is Cordelia from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Excellent casting. We learn that Chanel No. 2 was in and out of rehab, and she was definitely banging Chanel's boyfriend Chad. "If our daughter is missing, you have to find her...and make sure she never comes home again." To quote Zayday: Damn.
Grace's dad teaches her Intro to Film Theory class now. Upon finding this out she makes a huge scene and runs off, which is kind of more embarrassing than the fact that your dad is teaching the class? At any rate, Grace's dad raises a big ol' red (devil) flag when he screens what he sees to be "the greatest film of all time": The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The thoroughly-freaked out class is incline to disagree, but still he asks, " "Aren't we all running from the chainsaws in our past?" Nobody buys this attempt at depth ,except for Nasim Pedrad's Gigi, who wants to bone the professor. They make plans to discuss forming a neighborhood watch group over salads.
Coney! The new mascot, who we learn is named Aaron Cohen, is loving his new lifestyle. Girls love him, and he can act like a real dick while wearing the outfit and people just let him. Too bad the Red Devil is waiting in his dorm room, chainsaw in hand, to slice the soft-serve right off the cone. RIP, cute little dude.
Hester/Neckbrace is creepin' around in Chanel's closet. Just creepin' around, like the creepy creeper she is. Chanel busts her, and after saying "this closet is like a second vagine to me!" and some back-and-forth about her "Uncle" Karl Lagerfeld, she realizes giving Hester a She's All That-style makeover would improve overall house hotness/social standing.
Gigi and the Dean are playing tennis. Dean informs Gigi that a.) she's terrible at tennis, b.) they've both moving into the Kappa house, and c.) Gigi needs to back off of Wes. Gigi takes issue with the last point.
Back at the sorority house, Chanel No. 3 finds Sam and says she's got a secret to share...and that secret is she's a billionaire frozen food heiress. Wait, no! That's not the actual secret: The actual secret is that she's the product of an illicit conjugal visit with Charles Manson. Technically that would make her better at convincing other people to murder than doing actual murdering herself, but sure, shady. She and Sam cement their mutual alibi-friendship. "Ali-buddies."
Downstairs, Grace and Zayday learn that Chad was actually banging all of the Chanels at one time or another. Their disgust is interrupted by a claaaassic makeover reveal stairway descent. Hester has transformed from Neckbrace to "Chanel No. 6." It's nice to know she's not the new No. 2, so they retire your Chanel-jersey when you get murdered. Hester looks definitely still crazy, but beautiful!
Chanel No. 5 is enraged at this development, but her rant is interrupted by their new roomies, Gigi and the Dean. Also, there's a "Days Without a Kappa Getting Murdered" sign in the background, which is genius.
House of the Dickie Dollar Scholars. Chad tells his gathered dump preppies that Boone couldn't have committed suicide, because who slits their own throat, plus there were bloody footprints to the bathroom and back. He demands reveeeeenge!
Grace visits Shady Pete, and tells him she thinks Chad is the killer, and might've been the bathtub baby (but the baby is Grace, right? It's Grace.). Pete says he's found one of the sorority sisters from that night in 1995, and they decide to go talk to her.
Backstreet's back, alright! The Dickie Dollar Scholars roll up to the scene in their all-white, BSB-inspired finery. They are wasted, and hitting pretty much anything red with baseball bats, while demanding the Red Devil show himself. And he does — and so does the other Red Devil. This is our first bona fide proof that there's (at least) two killers. They all mix it up, and a few frat bros lose their golfing arms in the process.
CAHOOTS! That's the word Denise uses in the next scene, when she accuses Zayday of being the killer. "While you were in the house, your murderous cohort was stabbing my friend Shondelle in the face." Denise cites some of Zay's tweets about the show How to Get Away With Murder, plus the fact that she has a chainsaw under her bed (!!), and gets ready to cuff her. But then Zayday explains that her grandma sent her the chainsaw in what's turning out to be quite the care package, and Denise lets her off with a warning.
Wes and Gigi's Kappa House salad date is third-wheeled by the Dean. When the three realize Zayday's without her sidekick (Grace), they learn she's out — and she is, with Pete at a gas station that's even creepier than the convenience store at the beginning of the show...
It's bedtime now, and the Dean and Gigi are settling in for their sorority sleepover. In the funniest bit of the episode, Dean puts on her white noise machine — but it's actual a total nightmare-noise machine with settings including "whale distress calls" and "baboon attack." They settle on the "slasher movie" sound (so approps) and that drives Gigi out of the room...which it turns out is exactly what the Dean wanted, as she shoves her bed aside and bends down (to whip out her Red Devil costume, perhaps??).
Gigi makes a new bed on the couch, and the Red Devil strikes almost immediately. Wes materializes to fight him off — getting injured in the process — and then the two of them corner the Dean, accusing her of Red Devilry. Too obvious? The only logical conclusion? And if so, who's her partner?
Let me know your thoughts/theories/any songs I missed, and watch Scream Queens Episode 3 next Wednesday at 9/8c on Fox.
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, "Tha Crossroads"
Wham! "I'm Your Man"
"Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera)" cover
Stacey Q, "Two of Hearts"
Backstreet Boys, "Everybody (Backstreet's Back"
Order of Suspicion, From Highest to Lowest:
- Boone (didn't appear)
- Dean Munsch
- Wes, Grace’s Dad
- Chanel 5
- Chanel No. 3
Lea Michele + More Celebrities' Halloween Costumes